Jokes!

[Freeman]

So what your saying is the Eu is the rich guy, malta is the hotel, the goverment is the meat supplier, the farmers are the companys and that would leave us to be ....................................the f**kin prostitues mate, I'm not sure I wanna be a part of that.

[The_Gaffer]

Correction Robby017, thats how the Global economic crisis started in the 1st place

[Granitu]

that shows what is the real value of money, nothing, it is just our perception that values money

resources, i.e both the services and physical resources are the real value

money is just a mean or"coupon" of exchange

[skip]

Skip walked into the VRFCC looking very lost and walked up to the reception window....

The woman behind the glass was in her early forties and said 'Yes may I help you?'

Skip replied: "I'm here to apply for the Bluefin"

The woman looking at him with a very puzzled expression said....."I don't think you're in the right place......!!"

Yes, yes said Skip pointing at his piece of paper....it's says Civil Abbatoir, Albert Town, Marsa....the Bluefin! , with a friendly smile.

Hmmmm said the receptionist I don't think you're in the right place but if you like, go up to the first floor, tun left and through the glass door and ask up there.

Skip proceeded as instructed, registered his interest in Bluefin Tuna fishing and as he was walking down the stairs thought he'd inform the receptionist that it was in fact the correct place.

As he approached the window he noticed her on the phone so he patiently waited and when she hung up he said: "Just to let you know it was the right place, just in case more people come".

The receptionist continued to look at him with a puzzled face, but thanked Skip for the information.

Skip was happy and told his colleagues that he'd successfully gone to apply for the Bluefin........he didn't have a chance to finish when his colleague said: "WHAT!!! You went to apply for a Blue Film?!!!!"

Skip went bright red when it suddenly dawned on him that Bluefin sounds alot like Blue Film, especially given how he has a habit of mumbling words and at no time did he say: "Bluefin Tuna Expression of Interest!!!"

As he replayed the incident in his mind, it all started to make a bit of sense........no wonder the receptionist kept insisting he was in the wrong place!!

[robby017]

lol...... tajba din

[The_Gaffer]

Good one skip...so now you're in the pornstar industry as well!!!!....

[skip]

In her eyes yep!!

[robby017]

    you go skip..........                 

[mellieha]

immagine her face when hearing that

[robby017]

Well, technically, he was in the 'right place'... As the offices are located in Albert Town.... all he had to do was wait till after sunset......... LOL

[ramio]

Cowboy in the Pharmacy

A Texas cowboy walked into a drug store and asked to talk to a male
Pharmacist. The elderly woman he was talking to said that she was the
Pharmacist and as she and her also widowed elderly sister owned the
Store, there were no males employed there.

She then asked if she could help the gentlemen.

The cowpoke said that it was something that he would be much more
Comfortable discussing this with a male pharmacist.

The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional
And whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident
That she would treat him with the highest level of professionalism.

The old bronco-buster agreed and began by saying, 'this is tough for me
To discuss, but I have a permanent erection. It causes me a lot of
Problems and severe embarrassment, and I was wondering what you could
Give me for it.'

The pharmacist s aid, 'Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister.'

When she returned, she said, 'We discussed it at length and the absolute
Best we can do is, 1/3 ownership in the store, a company car, and $3,000
A month, plus living expenses.

[Tracina]

What sits at the bottom of the sea and shivers?
A nervous wreck.

[robby017]

Nurses aren't supposed to laugh...
 
"Of course I won't laugh," said the nurse.

"I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."
 
"Okay then," said Fred, and he proceeded to drop his trousers.

Revealing the tiniest 'man thingy' the nurse had ever seen.

Length and width, it couldn't have been bigger than the a AAA battery.

Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling, then fell to the floor laughing.
 
Ten minutes later she was able to struggle to her feet and regain her composure.
 
"I am so sorry," she said. "I don't know what came over me. On my honour as a nurse and a lady, I promise it won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?'
 
..."It's swollen," Fred replied.
 
She ran out of the room..

[robby017]

LOL tajba mundinu! 

[robby017]

DO MEN REMEMBER ANNIVERSARIES?

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.

She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.

She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night?'

The husband looks up from his coffee, 'I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?' he says solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive.

'Yes, I do' she replies.

The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily.

'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?'

'Yes, I remember!' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'

'I remember that too' she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... 

'I would have been released today.'