Jokes!

[robby017]

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL best joke ever fish-noob

[robby017]

The automobile driving manual says the average driver's
reaction time is: .75 seconds....... or 1 car length for every 10 mph......
Test your average reaction time..

Be very careful this can be addicting. Click on the link below and good luck.

Reaction Test:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sleep/sheep/reaction_version5.swf

[sajjiedf2]

@ robby017. It's very addictive!! I spent a good 20 minutes playing it and the best score i got was 0.15257. I will keep on trying till i get to the turbo-cheetah level!

[robby017]

enjoy

[noztheviking]

Your not kidding when you say that this is addictive, NOW All the geriatrics in our old peoples home are running round throwwing darts at the local farmers sheep just to get some practice in thanks to you !!!!!!!!

[robby017]

Five surgeons from Canadian cities are discussing who makes
the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon, from Calgary , says, 'I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.'

The second, from Winnipeg , responds, 'Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.'

The third surgeon, from Vancouver , says, 'No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order'

The fourth surgeon, from Montreal chimes in, 'You know, I like construction workers...Those guys always understand when you
have a few parts left over.'

But the fifth surgeon, from St John's , Newfoundland shut them all up when he observed: 'You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable

[ramio]

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.

[redbus9]

An ostrich was crossing the road and got her foot stuck in a grateing and she couldn,t pull it out.A brand new Jaguar car pulled up and seeing that the ostrich was stuck the driver told the ostrich to hold on to the bumper with her beak and wings and he would pull her out,but try as he would he could,nt pull her out so he drove off leaving the ostrich stuck.Then a brand new Ferrari stopped and he tried the same thing but he couldn,t pull her out either.Next along was a brand new Porche he tried as well but he could,nt pull her out either.The next one who came along was an old farmer with a donkey and cart and seeing that the ostrich was still stuck with her foot in the grateing told the ostrich to hang onto the donkey,s dick with her beak,so thats what the ostrich did.The farmer then lead the donkey up the road and out popped the ostrich,s foot.The morale of the story is you don,t need a flash car to pull a bird, all you need is a dick like a donkey.

[blueskip]

A man is having dinner in a resturaunt, & sees a gorgeous redhead sat at the next table, suddenly she sneezes loudly, & her glass eye bounces off his table & he catches it in mid air, & returns it to her discreetly.
"Let me pay for your meal in return" she says, so he joins her at her table & they begin chatting, she says she is going to the theatre & has a spare ticket if he would care to join her, so he does.
After the play she invites him back for a nightcap, & one thing leads to another & he has the best sex of his life. As he is leaving the next morning he asks if she does the same with all the men she meets, & she said that she didn't, so he asked her what was so different about him? she said "You just happened to catch my eye".

[noztheviking]

Young couple decide its time for geriatric dad to go into old peoples home. so they take him to the local old peoples home for a visit. Once at the home the matron offers to show the young couple round whilst Dad has a sit down, while they are away Dad starts to lean precariously to the right,just then a nurse runs up and puts a pillow down the right hand side of him straighten him up. After a while the same thing happens but to the left, Once again a young nurse rushes up with another pillow for the left side, once again straighening him up.ten minutes later he starts to lean forward, once again a nurse pulls him back and ties him into the chair with a towel Just then his family returns and asks him What do you think of this place Dad ? nice enough he says, but just one thing THEY WONT LET YOU FART IN HERE

[noztheviking]

why dont women fart as much as men ??                                                                                                   

Because they dont stop talking long enough to build up any pressure !!!!!!

[MartinB]

Be very careful this can be addicting. Click on the link below and good luck.

Reaction Test:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sleep/sheep/reaction_version5.swf

This is driving me nuts! good one robby17  this will kill a few hrs at work heheh 

[LapsiBoy]

I managged rocketing rabbit xD.

[MartinB]

me too trying for turbo charged cheetah but its f*** impossible Grrrr!

[robby017]

 

This is driving me nuts! good one robby17   this will kill a few hrs at work heheh

don't forget to turn down the sound... i nearly got caught once ... lol