Jokes!

[BIKRI]

jien il mara ? 

[fishfinder]

la toqodlok

[mellieha]

Fishfinder the terminator 

[maltembu]

Two great white sharks, swimming in the ocean, spied a ship in distress.
"Follow me, son," the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to
the ship. "First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our
fins showing." And they did. "Well done, son! Now we swim around them a
few times with all of our fins showing." And they did. "Now we eat
everybody." And they did. When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad,
why didn't we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and
around them?" His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without
the shit inside!"

[rammx]

lool mela the valletta windsurfer had intestinal problems cause the shark spent 45 mins circling him

[robby017]

hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[redbus9]

Not exactly a joke but a very interesting question. A man goes into a shop and points at something in the shop and asks how much are they? The shop keeper replies, If you buy one it costs one euro, if you buy ten it costs two euros and if you buy a hundred it costs three euros. What was he buying? PM me the answer. Back to Malta on Sunday.

[caldaland]

politicians!

[blueskip]

Door numbers?

[redbus9]

Blueskip was correct

[blueskip]

Ikea have announced a new flooring product exclusively for lesbians.
"No screwing, its all tongue & groove"

[MartinB]

Ikea have announced a new flooring product exclusively for lesbians.
"No screwing, its all tongue & groove"

LMAO

[blueskip]

4 gays were driving along in a car & when they stopped at the traffic lights a lorry ran into the back of them. The gay driver got out & went back to the lorry to talk to the driver, "look at the damage to my car you clumsy sod, that's going to cost me a fortune to get fixed, you can pay for that!"
"Kiss my arse" said the lorry driver, so the gay driver went back to the car & said to the gay passengers, "I will be a while, we have settled out of court"!

[visa]

                            A Husband takes his wife to play her first
game of golf.....Of course, the wife promptly whacked her first shot
right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

                            The husband cringed, "I warned you to be
careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and
see how much your lousy drive is going
                            to cost us."

                            So the couple walked up to the house and
knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in."

                            When they opened the door they saw the
damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique
bottle was lying on its side near the broken window.

                            A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are
you the people that broke my window?"

                            "Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about
that," the husband replied.

                            "Oh, no apology is necessary. A ctually I
want to thank you... You see, I'm a genie , and I've been trapped in
that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm
allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you
don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."

                            "Wow, that's great!" the husband said.
He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a
year for the rest of my life."

                            "No problem," said the genie. "You've
got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long,
healthy life!" "And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie
asked.

                            "I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete
with servants in every country in the world," she said.

                            "Consider it done," the genie said. "And
your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural
disasters!"

                            "And now," the couple asked in unison,
what's your wish, genie?"

                            "Well, since I've been trapped in that
bottle and haven't been with a woman in more tha n a thousand years, my
wish is to have sex with your wife."

                            The husband looked at his wife and said,
"Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses.
What do you think?"
                            She mulled it over for a few moments and
said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I
wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"

                            "You know I love you sweetheart," said
the husband. I'd do the same for you!"

                            So the genie and the woman went upstairs
where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. After
about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked
directly into her eyes and asked, How old are you and your husband?"

                            "Why, we're both 35," she res ponded
breathlessly.

                            "No Kidding." He said, "Thirty-five
years old and both of you still believe in genies?"

[alfadelta]

 

A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring.

The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds,

so the community could become used to a new doctor. 




At the first house a woman complains, "I've been a little sick to my stomach."

The older doctor says, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the fresh fruit.

Why not cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick?"




As they left, the younger man said, "You didn't even examine that woman.  How'd you come to the diagnosis so quickly?"




"I didn't' have to.  You noticed I dropped my  stethoscope on the floor in there? 

When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half-dozen banana peels in the trash. 
That was what probably was making her sick."

"Huh," the younger doctor said. "Pretty clever.  I think I'll try that at the next house."




Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman.

She complained that she just didn't have the energy she once did.  "I'm feeling terribly run down lately."

"You've probably been doing too much work for the parish," the younger doctor told her.   

"Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps."




As they left, the elder doctor said, "I know that woman well, your diagnosis is almost certainly correct,

but how did you arrive at it?"

"Well, just like you did at the last house, I dropped my stethoscope and when I bent down to retrieve it,

I noticed the priest under the bed."