Jokes!

[SPITEC]

Id-dniefel mill-art rammx?

[LapsiBoy]

Jista ikun gimgha ilu mort spinning iz zurrieq u xi 100 metru il barra rajt wihed

[SPITEC]

Naf li jista jkun imma jien qatt ma rnexxili nara wiehed.

[rammx]

filghodu mux lewwel darba li rajna spitec (il barra) imma mid dera bil lejl ihobbu jidhlu max xatt! kemm il darba nisimaw tifwir enormi u nindunaw li jkunu dniefel wara li nisimaw dak il hoss ta meta jitfaw in nifs il barra...u meta tisma dak il hoss ghid li ha jdum ma jmissek....


(ma kontx fis sakra LE!! lol ghax kkulhad semahhom ) 

[SPITEC]

Ili ma nmur post selvagg forsi ghalhekk jien nipreferi postijiet ohra taf int.Zgur ma kontx fis-sakra hux!   

[rammx]

lool le le bix inghidlek ma mlejtux kollu l cooler ghax hsibt li ha nkun busy nistghad...u sal ghaxra kont ga battaltu lol

aparti c cajt kulhad semahhom

[Granitu]

issa nsaqsi.. nkun naf jien taaaa

[rammx]

issssstja ma jafdawnix !!!! 

[MartinB]

issssstja ma jafdawnix !!!! 

Le ma tarax! LOL 
Aparti ic-cajt rajhnihom kemm il darba in-nahhat taghna qrib l-art..vera sbieh biex tarahom jikaccjaw il hut, pero kif qal ir-rammx tista iz-zarma il qasab mal l-ewwel ghax kollox iggerxu 

[SPITEC]

Int thobba l-birra ukoll minalija hux Martin?  Ara naqbad naqra maghkhom qied siehbi 

[ramio]

ITALIAN Women are TOUGH!

An elderly Italian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the
agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his
favorite ravioli wafting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed.


Gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.

When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he leaned against the door
frame, g azing into the kitchen, where if not for death's agony, he
would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out
upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were hundreds of his favorite
ravioli.



Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his wife of sixty
years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

He threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled
posture.
His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the ravioli was already
in his mouth.


With a trembling hand he reached up to the edge of the table, when
suddenly he was smacked with a wooden spoon by his wife.
'F**K off!' she said.
'Those are for the funeral.'

[robby017]

A Londoner parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues.

As he's getting out of the car, a lorry comes speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door before zooming off.

More than a little distraught, the Londoner grabs his mobile and

Calls the police.


Five minutes later, the police arrive. Before the policeman has a chance to ask any questions, the man starts screaming hysterically: 'My Porsche, my beautiful silver Porsche is ruined. No matter how long it's at the panel beaters it'll simply never be the same again!'


After the man finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust. 'I can't believe how materialistic you bloody Londoners are,' he says. 'You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life.'


'How can you say such a thing at a time like this?' sobs the Porsche

Owner.


The policeman replies, 'Didn't you realise that your arm was torn

off when that truck hit you.'


The Londoner looks down in horror.

'F***ING HELL!' he screams........'Where's my Rolex?...'

[ramio]

  Know Your Customers:
A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment.
A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"
The salesman explained
"When I got posted in the Middle East , I was very confident that I
would make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But,
I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey
the message through three posters...

First poster: A man lying in the hot desert sand...totally exhausted
and fainting.
Second poster: The man is drinking our Cola.
Third poster: Our man is now totally refreshed.
And Then these posters were pasted all over the place
"Then that should have worked!" said the friend.
"The hell it should have!? said the salesman. Didn't realize that
Arabs read from right to left"

[robby017]

(Amidst all the current stress and turmoil, it's important to keep smiling!!)

LITTLE RALPHY ON MATHS PT.1

A teacher asks her class "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?".

She calls on Little Ralphy.

He replies "None.  They will all fly away with the first gunshot".

The teacher replies "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking".

Then little Ralphy says "I have a question for YOU".

"There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.  The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.  The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.  Which one is married?".

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone".

To which Little Ralphy replied "The correct answer is "the one with the wedding ring on", but I like your thinking".


LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH PT.2

Little Ralphy returns from school and says to his father that he got an 'F' in arithmetic.

"Why?" asks the father?

Little Ralphy replies "The teacher asked "How much is 2x3,'' and I said '6'".

"But that's right!" says his dad.

"Yeah, but then she asked me "How much is 3x2?''.

"What's the f*cking difference??" asks the father.

"That's what I said!"

LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISH

Little Ralphy goes to school and the teacher says "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class.  Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?".

Little Ralphy says "Mas-tur-bate".

Miss Rogers smiles and says "Wow, Little Ralphy, that's a mouthful".

Little Ralphy says "No Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob".



LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.

First, she called on Little Suzie, who responded with "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it".

"Very good Suzie" replied the teacher.  She then called on Little Michael.

"My mummy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully".

She said "Excellent Michael!".  Then the teacher reluctantly called on Little Ralphy.....

"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just f*cking beautiful!!''

LITTLE RALPHY ON GETTING OLDER

Little Ralphy was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.

After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you.  It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat".

Little Ralphy replied "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old".

The man asked "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?".

Little Ralphy answered "No, he minded his own f*cking business!".

[Granitu]

lol ta l ahhar gd one